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Feb 22 2010

Getting to know you.. getting to know all about you.. slowly.. deliciously slow..

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

It’s funny, how something that happens so randomly, can leaven such a delicious taste in your mouth..and such an imprint in your brain…. meeting you .. was one of those random, incredible things..

Did you know, when you spotted me  getting out of my car, that summer day…  did you know you would feel like this??

I thought you some arrogant boy, someone who thought too much of himself.. your swagger was loud and brash…

but then, you introduced yourself.. you kissed my cheek and my heart stopped, and  I felt a silent gasp leave my lips..

Do you know…. that  you moved  me?   you took  my brain to insane, magical places..with that single move.. that single

“Hello.. nice to meet you.. “  …   you enticed  me, you made  me quiver.. with anticipation….

I have been thinking about you today..

I have been remembering how you looked, the last time we were together, what you wore, what you said, your smile.. that naughty little smile that I adore..

remember me calling you, from that crazy  crowded street corner,  I could barely hear you..  and I asked..

“were are you? ” and you said..

” I’m right behind you about to grab your ass” .. and then….  your face was on mine, your lips on my cheek .. it was so good.. sooo good to see you.

Did you know, that from the  first time we meet,  it was clear to me, that we would at some point be together, don’t laugh.. I see you .. reading this and smiling..

it’s true and you know it..

do you remember that first  night.. sitting by the hot tub, drinking that amazing red wine?.. we were the only two still awake..

not wanting to sleep.. the conversation flowed.. and we were totally comfortable in this new friendship..

I was married then, and so were you.. but we knew that the chemistry between us was full and rich..

I was drawn to you.. after that night.. that conversation… it stayed with me..

we were both in the same horrible place.. not knowing how to leave.. but knowing we had to..

It was a different time then no, I was a different person, but even though I was not at my best (according to me :)) you still seeked me.. you courted me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world..

did you know , that your actions helped to  turn  on a light.. that had been dead for nearly a decade?? yes.. you did that… got my brain to go into sexy mode again.. to feel like I was desirable.. like I could be sexy again..  you did that..

after that night.. our time apart was warmed by our emails, infrequent  but totally intense no??

and then.. our lives chaged.. you left.. I left.. and we did not speak for a number of months..

until you called..

 time came for us to meet again..

and  that night, when you came in from the cold.. and I called to you from the dance floor.. do you remember? ….I do,  that was magic for  me.. your face.. your eyes.. huge.. looking at me.. saying.. “who are you??? ” I loved it… I adored that surprise in your face..

you had no idea.. that I had been changing.. it was my secret to keep.. and keep it I did.. ;)

remember what you said??… I do..

“If I did not know those eyes so well, I would have not known it was you.. holy shit.. you look incredible!!!”.. I love those words.. they are etched in my brain…

I remember your tone.. your eyebrows raised in surprise.. your hands wondering the small of my back..

haaaaaaaaaaaa.. I loved it.. totally loved it..

when you spotted me….your eyes were bright and smiling at me, and I wanted to run to you, but instead, I danced for you, did you notice?

and  then…. my favorite part of that night…  you texting me from the other side of the club, telling me you needed a kiss, in very, very bad Spanish, but it was sweet, and sexy, and I came to you.. and kissed your face.. just under your ear, and I  whispered something you could not hear into that  ear.. did you hear me say it..?

you totally turned me on..

I remember that later that night.. when we were walking into the next club, and you were  holding my hand, firm and strong leading the way, and  when I walked  away from you, to join my friends on the dance floor..   you smiled.. let my hand go.. slowly.. palm to palm.. finger tips to finger tips….  and as I walked away from you .. you  keept your eyes on me, I could feel their heat on me, even though I could no longer see you..lovely.. it was lovely.

And so began our  sexual dance .. with long, beautiful emails that I read over and over again..

It was palpable, the sexual tension between us,  thick in the air,  delicious..

After that first night, I found myself thinking about you, and wondering what it would be like, out first time together. ..

yes.. I knew .. that it  would happen.. one day..that we would come together.. slowly.. but surely..

and from the beginning I was prepared to wait for you..

and now, I love knowing that you want me..and more .. I love you not saying it, but showing me, words are not necessary are they..

and .. let me ask you this…

you know I want  you, don’t you??

 maybe.. maybe not.. I can’t be sure.. you give nothing away..I like that.. it leaves me to wonder.. and dream..

our first kiss ..many years after our first meeting..   in that parking lot,  when your hands explored my body..did you notice  I lost my ability to think..to speak..  you completely took my breath away..

It’s funny to me.. that it was so sexual.. and then it suddenly  became something else.. it became..this sweet  lust, without the sex.. just lust..

hard  to explain, but I will try..

it’s like when  you want to to be closer.. to touch.. to fuck..  but you don’t, because doing it.. having sex.. will break the spell..

does that make sense to you? hmmm I think you understand..

Do you think, that this is the reason we are reluctant to be alone together, as in really alone?

do you find it odd that we are always surrounded by people..

it’s curious.. that we are so into each other.. yet…. we  are …so scared, intimidated to be alone together, in a room with a bed..

I crave you, but yet.. I don’t ..

I want to eat you up.. in my dreams.. in my head. .. but am I scared of what that would do to this.. ?? this magic that we are cooking..  this craving.. this lust.. ? this fun we are sharing..

I love your texts.. I love your calls more.. I like that you are spontaneous and open to anything.. except.. my door..

have you noticed ? I have not asked.. .. hmmmm not yet? not ever? not sure..

are you…  scared? of what I would do to you? ;) you should be.. ..

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Feb 11 2010

You in a sweat suit? hair in pony? using a scrunchy? no makeup, not even lip glosss.. hmmm re-think it.. please..

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

It was an interesting night.

Headed out to a soccer fundraiser with some friends, in a very seedy area of my town.  They call it “gun shot alley” for a good reason.

The pub is owned by one of the girls in the team, and the band,  was comprised of her brother, her husband and few of their high school buddies.. and you know what? they were awesome! great cover band.. much fun was had dancing to old, old tunes.

The interesting part for me, as always, was the conversations.

Talked at length with a male friend,  I think we sat and just engaged each other in conversation for about 2 hrs.. it flowed..

One of the main topics was about our friends marriages  falling one after the other.. seriously..it started last summer and it was continued like the Swine Flu…  I think  that almost 50% of my friends are in mediation right now.. scared shit less about loosing their kids, their houses.. their stuff.. and yet.. looking forward to being single again..or so they say… I say.. they need to give their heads a great big shake.. and stay.. they have it good.. they just think its better on the other side.. but I am in the middle of the other side.. and although it’s not bad.. not at all.. it could be wayyy better..

But apparently.. being 40.. is dangerous.. lol .. IT IS!  LOL

One of the main topics in our conversation was around

 how women.. and men.. stop looking after themselves when they wed.  Why is that I wonder.. I have done it.. have you??

I remember thinking.. how did I go from wearing something different everyday.. to wearing the same  sweat suit for 3…. or four days in a row.. wash and wear.. yes..but wear…. WEAR THE SAME THING.. imagine!lol

and …  how in this world did I ever think I looked good??  I mean.. the only one I have seen looking good in sweats in

Carmen  Electra.. and really even she looked shabby in her juicy couture..

ok.. so not really shabby… but not well put together..

ok. really well put together , but not … dressy.. ok? ok..

It’s almost like..we say to ourselves..

well.. I got one now.. he /she is staying around for good.. so I don’t  have to try anymore..

and THAT.. is what kills it..Seriously.. I have heard this.. and lived this.. I think.. alittle..

this is  hugely for the men.. but totally for the women… we are both guilty no?

The main point of sexual attraction surrounds feeling fantastic in your own skin.. when you do.. the sex is incredible..

and I remember  how bad it felt when that attention was not given.

I think for women, we take sex as a given, when in a relationship..  married/ girlfriend. .. pick one..

 therefore

I can have sex when I want.. and I dont’ have to work at it.. to keep it going .. because they love me.. and they get me..

blah blah blah..

the problem is.. that for men.. most men that I know anyway… sex comes first thru the eyes..

and ya.. that means that you have to work on your body.. to keep it reasonable. .and you have to work at your appearance

that means putting on you lip gloss and actually taking some interest in the way you look.

I remember a friends saying.. well.. it should not matter what I look like.. our bodies change as we age.. and I should not have to get dressed up for my husband.. he should love me no matter  what I’m wearing..

love yes..

desire? want to take down on the kitchen floor.. hmmmmm maybe.. but not IN THE SWEATS!!!! lol

this friend of mine.. she is funny.. love her..

I was giving her shit for leaving the house in sweats and a horrific scrunchy in her hair.. (this being a very good looking sexy woman.. )

and so… .. so .. hate to tell you girls.. but yes..

 IT DOES MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.. how you dress.. how you smell.. how you look after your skin.. yes.. all those things will contribute to a much better sex life your your mate.. and perhaps translate in to a much better marriage.

When women loose interest in their looks.. usually interest in sex drops along ..

yes.. women become body reclusive.. they hide.. they pretend that the man who touches them .. won’t be able to tell..

when she is laying down..

ya ha!!! I have heard this..

they will not go on top.. (guilty) ..

they will hide in the shower.. (have done this too.. )

we are crazy creatures!! insane..

I have a girlfriend who literally will not let her husband see her naked..

for years now..

she hides in the closet to get dressed… she insists on the lights out when they fuck.. and

guess what.. big shocker here.. next line.. lol

they fuck about once a month.. IF that..

and she blames him..

and he blames her.. and so it goes in a circle.. were nobody gets fucked..

and that .. IS SAD!!!!

So.. being a friend.. I have asked her..

“hmmm.. if you came home.. and your husband was sitting on the couch.. watching tv.. in his sweats.. not showered.. smelling of yesterdays sweat.. unshaven and with horrible breath.. would it turn you on?”

“what?” she said..

“I’m not saying you look like that.. but a little?? ”

she laughed.. and then we went thru her closet .. and basically put every ill fitting pair of sweats in a bag for goodwill.. and

then .. we got her a great new hair cut.. and a great pair of  jeans.. actually 3 pair of the same jeans.. so she has no thinking to do.. and I told her to book an afternoon off work and fuck her husband..

hmmmm we shall see..

And then.. the men.. lol.. my lovely male friends.. love them!

always keeping me entertained.. lol

I had afternoon coffee with  a friend.. my friend T..one of my favorite men …

our relationship is old and comfortable and .. a little sexy..

you know.. you look at eachother  and think..  hmmmm yes.. I could take you ..

 great looking, well put together, charming.. .. but.. hmmm.. no.. lol

because we know too much about them…

so… awesome guy..

but the most picky man I know.. still fishing for Misss Perrrrfectttt…  

He told me about a recent date..with a girl   he had  became enamoured with, because of her breast size..

 annnddd her brain.. ya.. lol

of course her brain too.. LOL!

only to find out.. it was 30% her.. and 70%  the new Victoria Secret push up bra.. LOL!!!

(great Bra by the way.. if you come on twitter.. you can get the link.. :))

he said he just carried on.. but

 never called her again.. (like a sitcom character I know.. )

fuck.. stupid man.. she was perfect in every other  way.. how can a simple breast size.. be a deal breaker?

you know what.. this is what I know.. because I know him.. because I listen..

it’s not..the miss perfect thing….

 it’s simply that he is not ready.. and may never be ready to commit to anyone.. .. and that is sooo ok.. so ok..

but he thinks it’s not.. because it’s not the norm.. in his 40’s he has not found his voice..

I know.. I have been there..

and as we walked with our coffee.. I asked him.. because flirting is an art form .. lol

“so.. your really just waiting for me to give you the go ahead.. right? it’s me you want.. isn’t it.. ” and I laughed..

hard.. but really I was

half joking.. half.. hmmm maybe?? I don’t  know.. fishing.. let’s say fishing..

he smiles.. then he hugs me.. and he says..

“you are my friend..and If we became more. .chances are .. I would loose you.. and I would hate that..

I love you.. my best friend”

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. stupid man.. made me cry..

love you too baby!

Fast forward 2 hrs.. while I’m driving home..

text:

T: 5:10

I was thinking, maybe we could try?

Me: 5:15

No, but it’s nice you thought that.

love you!

:)

No responses yet

Jan 25 2010

Felliato and other words that start with F…

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

I have been thinking about Fellatio.. it’s been on my brain..

I like writing that word.. saying it.. how is rooollls off my tongue..

FEEELLLATIOOOO.. but do you think with my Spanish tongue I can pronounce it properly..?

no..

I had to use the www, to find a annunciator… thank god for those things.. I would be lost without one.. ..

your language (English) was not designed for easy of speaking..

so I have been thinking about all the different ways, positions , combinations that one can use.. to bring a man pleasure…. and bring yourself pleasure in the process.. it’s all mutual in my books..

giving pleasure should be as rewarding as receiving..I don’t think there is anything better than bringing someone pleasure, pleasure that you can see in their face, feel on their skin, and taste in your mouth..

said she..

hmmm

I don’t know about you ladies.. but it took me a while to learn to love Fellatio..

and now… it ’s one of my favorite things to do..yummmmm!

The first time I put my lips on a penis…. hmm it was not good..

it was high school.. I was what.. 15? and he was one of my first boyfriends.. he was drunk as was I.. and he stunk..like..old sweaty clothes.. specially in the crotch.. (I’m picky about smells, have always been.. )

I remember thinking..

“why would anybody like this.. seriously”

but what was loud and clear to me.. was that he.. my boyfriend at the time..

loved it..

looking back now.. I understand.. like some  quote says.. that there is no such thing as a bad blow-job.. any effort is appreciated..

is that right? boys?

I was bad at it.. .. I mean.. besides gagging and almost throwing up (could have been all the baby duck on board.. yuck.. youth knows nothing about quality wine..lol) I bit him..by mistake.. got a little exited I think..  and pulled his pubic hair with my bracelet..I actually got my bracelet stuck in his pubes.. and then started to laugh like crazy.. poor guy..

I have a vivid recollection of that night.. he had this little Fiat Spider.. and it was hard to maneuver around in there.. lol.. we had to use inventive moves.. to get the job done..

it was a job.. back then.. not a pleasure like it is now..

but like I said.. that did not seem to matter, how bad I was..  in that  moment.. he was happy to have my lips on his cock…

sadly  that was the only blow job he ever got from me.. shortly after that.. I became more popular..

wonder why?? hmmmm

and I moved on to greener pastures.. .. and actually so did he.. 

and then.. it did not get much better..for a long while..

the next cock  I put my lips on was bad tasting.. the next one too big..

 I mean.. I have kind of a large  mouth..but this thing was a monster…. big..  so.. I hesitated after I started.. wondering what to do..   and he pushed my head into it..and I swear that thing went all the way  to my stomach.. it was gross.. I remember feeling helpless and mad.. and I pinched him so hard.. he got the message loud and clear not to ever do that again.. and . . you guessed it..   he never  had my lips on his cock again..

unless you are into it….the whole.. grab my head and push me into your cock..  which sometimes.. ya.. I like.. in the right moment.. it can be very sexy…. but men.. make sure we are into it..  even in the heat of passion.. is this something she will like?

the element of surprise.. is not a good thing in this scene.. ;)

there is nothing worse than a man making you gag.. what pleasure is derived from watching you choke to death?

Now.. I did take a little course.. at my friend Raw’s house.. about BJ’s and the best way to give them..

I want to share one of those tricks with you.. in the hopes that it will become, if it’s not already, part of your regular sexual repertoire..

you see.. they say you can hook   a man via his stomach..(ie being a good cook.. ) but if you want to keep him.. baby you gots to blow him gooood..

and I do enjoy a gorgeous licking.. don’t you??.. ya.. of course you do!!

so it’s only natural that I would want to reciprocate.. no? .. si.

So.. on deep throating…. or not even deep.. just getting that cock fully in your mouth..

(which I  hear is  one of the best feelings. for the boys..your lips going top to bottom on that cock.. humming on it.. hummmmmmm )

but it can be tricky no?

specially if  have a man with a long cock.. and you want to swallow him whole.. without bringing up your breakfast?

the key is LUBE!

have you seen those porno movies..  were the women are giving head and all this spit is flying around??.. they are spitting on to it.. collecting saliva in their mouths? almost too much saliva..

well.. that is what slides it down your throat.. that is the  key..

SALIVA is your friend..

believe me .. I tried all the stuff they will try and sell you at the sex shop..to make it easier to give a good blow..

the numbing spray.. the stuff that is supposed to taste good.. but tastes like rotten fruit..

frankly you don’t need it..saliva.. is your friend.. it’s all you need.. organic.. clean.. and very usefull  :)

So.. I like to start by licking..gently playing with the cock..  and while I lick.. I collect all the saliva in my mouth.. and once I can feel a pool in there.. then I bring it to the tip of my tongue and  bath the cock with it… as I move my lips up and down on it..

hoo my.. I’m getting .. hmm warm .. just thinking about it..

are you??  hmmmm??

so.. once it’s lovely and wet.. the full on tackle of it becomes easy..

it also helps me.. to position my tongue were it will not be pulled out too much..

hmm.. sort of holding it on your lower mandible.. just letting is sit on top of your lower teeth..

if you stick it out too much, while you suck.. you will be more likely to gag..

this is what I find works well, try it.. and see if it words for you..

It was funny.. we were  at a strip bar last night.. with a girlfriend and a male friend..

and it just so happened.. that the gorgeous creature on the stage.. was doing a little fellatio workshop of sorts.. to the delight of the crowd..and me..it was a great show.. very well choreographed .. lol.. it was.. really.. !!

and when she spat on that dildo.. before she deep throated it..

 I cheered.. lol.. I did..

whoooo hooo.!!. that’s how you do it.. spit on that cock baby.. lol

well .. I did not  say that ..out loud..  because I am a lady.. and  even in a strip bar.. you have to maintain decorum.. .. hm hmmm

but I thought it.. and I whispered it into my friends ear.. as we watched.. and he agreed..

big smile on his gorgeous face..

“ya.. saliva is your friend…. may be we could bring her home with us.. .. and you can show her.. ?” ya… maybe.. maybe..

as he was talking.. that  gorgeous creature.. was now right beside me.. offering me her fake.. but very lovely breasts..  (had to say fake.. because they were.. lol )

and I laughed and blew her a kiss…. and thought about how fun that could be.. hmmmm

it was a fun night..

Fellatio.. say it with me..

FELLATIOOOOOOOO!

One response so far

Jan 22 2010

A glimpse of spring.. in the middle of winter.. but only a glimpse

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

Remember how I said.. that I asked friends to send me their lonely, their unwanted , their desperate.. male friends.. ?

well.. I really told them to hook me up with cute boys.. but this  is what has been coming my way.. lol

today.. I meet one.. that was not so lonely, so desperate, or so unwanted..

in fact.. he was rather yummy.

This date was the brainchild of my friend Raw.. a friend of her husbands.

who I had actually meet at her pool  a couple of times..

when a man has seen you in your bathing suit.. and is still interested..

THAT is a good thing..

“he is very dominant .. but not fanatical.. and lovely.. I think it could be a good match for you”

she said.. while we sipped on  her enormous glasses of wine..

so .. I agreed..  and today.. I reluctantly headed to meet him .. at lunch..

OK..

although he lives in the other side of my world.. he did not complain about coming to meet me.. or about how far away I live..

“that was an incredible drive.. I never get out this way.. ..”

instant browny points awarded:  2 million!  (even if he is full of shit.. but today was a rather epic day in my end of the world.. warm and sunny and this lovely breeze that brought the smells of spring.. ya. .. spring.. crazy.. in Jan.. )

let me give you the basics.. before we get into the good stuff.. and sisters.. there is much good in this man..

about friken time.. I say.. !!!

he  is tall, sweet smelling, and very well spoken.. and he has an air of

something I cannot describe.. but that something.. made the hair in my  neck stand up.. and for a change.. it was not in a bad way..

hmm maybe a combination of scared and turned on…

He is not attractive, in the traditional sense of the word.. but the man is sexy .. he drips sex appeal..  it’s intoxicating..

I love that.

We meet at a little coffee shop down by the beach.. I got there first..

and I watched him get out of his car..  and walk in..

great walk..

you can tell much about a person in the way they carry themselves..

he, walked with confidence….

He came to say hello.. and like an old friend kissed both of my cheeks..

left.. to right..

I love that. ..

it is the small things that make me tingle..

his lips were full, warm, and soft…. I wanted them to stay on my cheek..

now.. I have eyeballed this man before.. watched him in a social situation..

he was clever.. but quiet.. looking.. watching.. you could tell that his eyes were busy .. processing the room, the people..

and I guess that stayed with me.. but I put in the memory deposit bank.. .. you know..

you often meet people that charm you.. but you loosed interest or  other things captivate you.. so you move on from them

but what you watched of them.. stays with you..

am I making sense ? or babbling as per usual??  lol

when I saw him.. walk into the cafe, that is what I remembered about him.. that was the flash back..

Soooo..

we grabbed coffee and walked..

I always feel more comfortable walking with someone when I first get to know them..

it takes the edge of sitting in front of eachother  not knowing what to do with your eyes..

 he brought his camara along..

and he let me use it…. which.. for me.. meant..

trust..

love that..

I like people that sense.. that you are aware of what your holding.. and you will care for it.. ..

they read you well.. I think  he read me like a book..

we walked around, talking about random things..  music, books,

Haiti..

our mutual friend, has decided that at 63.. she is going to permanently retire, and go around the 3rd world making a difference…. crazy old broad.. with a heart of gold.. love her!

so.. she is taking herself to Haiti at the end of the  month..  on her own..

Raw is a very cool woman.. and once  she decided that this is what she was doing.. welll..

this is what she is doing.. !!!..

Anyway..back to the walk..

the conversation somehow fell on our bad date stories..

can’t remember how we got there.. but I think we both have had our share..

and then.. the conversation got just a little more steamy.. and we openly talked about sex

in the most gorgeous… delightful way..

 full,  and explicit conversation.. but yet.. soft.. and ..

almost like we were talking about a ballet, or a concerto.. just  a dance..a dance  of ideas.. or fantasies.. of fun..

ya.. it was very good.. very good.. good.. did I say .. GOOD??  remember I told you way back.. that I enjoy talking about

sex.. almost as much has having sex.. .. lol.. I do..

so… probably against my better judgement..

I told him about the ad,  ya.. THAT ad.. that  I placed on Craig’s list..

and he was not horrified.. or shocked.. he was interested in what I wrote.. how I said it..

he said he would like to read it..

and tonight.. I mailed it to him..

yes.. you know something.. I think, I’m done.. with the pretence that I am something I’m not..

and I need to be open about what I want.. and what I don’t want..

and he got that..  without any apparent change in his thoughts about me..

lol

ya.. whatever..

you know what is funny.. is that men, start of saying.. yes.. we know what you want. .we know how to do that…. we are men..

and then.. then.. when you tell them about the others.. because the ask..

then, it changes..

what was light.. and fun.. become not so light and fun.. it’s palpable..

anyway..

so we shall see.

my almost spring man..how long you  will stick around..?

hmmm.. wellll.. 

he has already lost round one..I’m sorry to report.. that  he is a bad kisser.. NOT HORRIBLE.. but bad..

ya know.. when nothing tingles.. nothing makes you want to grab them and not let go until you are satisfied..

ya.. not there.. lol

but maybe.. maybe.. he can be turned on like a candle.. maybe..  I will let you know.. :)

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Jan 17 2010

When I think about you …… I touch myself….

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

I have been Tweeting about Masturbation..and thinking about masturbation.. and masturbating.. lol..

What?? did you not know we are now on Twitter??

Come.. join us.. @eroticaudio

So.. I have been tweeting about masturbation.. and I started thinking about the different ways in which I can take myself  to heaven..

of Course.. there is NOTHING that replaces a living, breathing, sweet smelling man.. beside you  on the bed.. couch, chair,  floor..whatevs.. lol

but sometimes.. I feel greedy.. and just want to bring myslelf to orgasm

So .. who do you see… what goes thru your brain.. as your close your eyes and submit to pleasure??

When I first discovered this website, I spend many hrs.. MANY hrs. listening to The Sayers stories and

frantically masturbating, I think I wore myself out.. several times….

something about that voice.. and the images it conjured.. loved it..

since then I have become an addict of spoken porn.. searching online for anything that would

bring me to that place…. and not because I’m writing on his space.. but I have not found a more sexy voice .. not yet.. still searching..

I do enjoy Silkenvoice.com   If you have not heard her.. YOU SHOULD!  her written stories and spoken audio-blogs.. are lovely.. erotic.. and educational.. specially to a

sexual/emotional/sensual reader such as me…

So as  I was  saying.. lol  I was tweeting on masturbation yesterday.. and I . .. asked out loud..

what I should use on this night.. one toy..? or a combo ?

I choose the combo..  it’s always my masturbation of choice.. yuuuummmmy!

so one of the followers of our tweets.. wrote..  and he celebrated my choice..

so.. Mr. Chicago.. this  post.. is for you!

Now.. what are the toys that I use.. most often? hmm

 well, I have two bullets.. one palm sized.. pink.. (of course)

and the second,  a little tini tip of finger sized bullet..which is so discreet and easy for travel.. lol ..

but powerful.. it literally makes your whole body quiver when applied directly to the clit..

then..I love this little dolphin shaped vibrator.. with three prongs? what would you call them?

hmmm let me describe.. actually look at the picture.. :)  that explains it better no?

so.. the fin.. on the bottom..  is supposed to stimulate your clit.. but it does not provide enough pressure for me.. and the dorsal fin.. is supposed to enter your ass..

but you know what happens.. as soon as I turn it on.. in my hand.. that dolphin nose.. it ends up on my clit.. it’s like a crazed tongue licking you to craziness.. magical really..

I have recently discovered .. that If I continue the stimulation past an orgasm.. I can rapidly have a sequence of  o’s .. each one much stronger than the last..

my whole pelvic region and abdomen.. become spastic with each wave of pleasure.. and I can

feel my pubis convulsing.. it’s incredible!..  the question I ask myself.. is ..

why did it take me 46 years to figure this out.. ?? LOL

you know.. it was actually silkenvoice that encouraged this behavior.. naughty girl ..

I asked her about it. .and she was kind enough to offer a lesson.. I love that .. :)

So usually the first orgasm is brought on by the nose of the dolphin…I’m horny, and greedy and I want to cum NOW!!!… and then.. I want more.. and more.. and MOOOORE…

I did say I was greedy..

so, my new trick  is that .. as soon as I cum, I insert the dolphin body in my pussy.. and let it continue vibrating there..

and I hold it in place using Kegel muscles.. (pleasure and pelvic floor exercises at the same time.. I’m such an excellent multitasker.. :)

then I grab my little bullet with my other hand  and place it on my clit.. first at very gentle speed.. (it’s super sensitive right after an o) and as the sensitivity dissipates.. I crank the speed to madness.. with my other hand I bring that dolphin nose to my G spot.. gently.. or

hard.. depending on my eagerness… the nose pushes right up against my pubic bone..

and I use a upward motion to hit the spot.. something I learned from a lover..

thank you lover!

honey.. it’s magic.. !!

I think the reason why I listened (listen) to those audio recordings so much.. was because they mega.. MEGA.. turned me on so much.. and as I was listening and masturbating..  I would often get lost in my self play…. and  miss what was being said.. lol … I was high on sexual adrenalin…. sorry Sayer.. :).. but really it got me to listen over and over again.. and that is a good thing .. no? yes!

sometimes..  it was like the voice was behind a fog of pleasure.. I could hear him speaking.. but like when I lover whispers in your ear in the middle of crazy  delicious fucking..when you are about to explode..  you hear him.. but you don’t.. and you don’t want him to stop … so you smile.. and sigh.. “huuhmm “… and pull him closer to you.. it’s like

“just shut up and fuck me.. “… know what I mean.. ?? ya..

So.. that .. Mr. Chicago.. is what I like to do.. 

Can you picture it .. in your head??? hm?

3 responses so far

Jan 15 2010

Seriously.. .let me write this down in my “things I don’t give a fuck about” note book…

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

I love that quote… it’s so fitting right now..  as I’m being held emotionally hostage by a man who claims he loves me.. adores me.. and naturally can’t live without me..

well.. I have news for him.. I’m gone.. have been gone for a while.. and I’m not going back.. ever…

So.. It’s been about 1 month ,  and a bit..  since the last time  I was in the company of  B.

We have had dinner’s and lunches, and coffees, but we have  not been together, as in sex, for a while now, around 3 months to be exact.. it ended in early november..

and I thought things were fine.. we were friends.. everything was good..

until.. I told him I was seeing someone new..

he asked..

and I told.. because he asked..

so since then..

in the last week, he has called almost everyday….leaving these sad speeches on my cell phone.. and even longer emails in my inbox..

He is lonely, as I am.. sort of (I have other things to keep me busy  :)… but he is lonely.. and a little desperate for a bone.

but I feel that giving a bone.. at this point, would be fueling his fire.. and that would be unfair… I have no intention of ever going back to him.  It just does not work..

So I don’t answer my phone. 

He has his own ring tone,  I don’t even have to look, I hear him, calling.

is it rude?

no, it would be rude if I picked up and said nothing, because I have nothing left to say.  So I let it ring, and  go to voice mail,  then I delete it, without listening.

Mean?

no!, it’s the same story, over and over… I miss you , I want you back.. won’t you reconsider…. and it makes me sad, and lonely for him, but , I know, that what I need, what I want, he cannot give me, so I need to let him go.. and he needs to let me go…

is it easy? no.. it’s not.. I really enjoyed him, his company, his charm, his smell.. his sex.. .. all of him… but like a good friend told me while back..”that was always ending, wasn’t it?” … yes.. it was .. from the beginning..

So… why do we take on things.. that we know .. are not good for us?  we all do it.. … . it’s part retardation and part  masochistic in a way… but still  we all do it.

go figure.

I think that at that time.. when we got together..  B and I..

I needed him.. in my life.. he saved me in a way.. and I became very dependent on his love and attention..

but then.. I matured.. he helped me to do that.. by empowering me.. by  allowing me to see who I really was.. not who I thought I was..

and from what he gave.. I grew and became more self  sufficient when it came to emotions.. and I understood that what I felt for him.. was love.. but platonic love..

as in best friend.. not as in husband material..

He came with so many barriers.. .. it all made it impossible for us to be a couple.. the way that he would have wanted ..

but most of all .. he is a man who does not know how to take NO..

am it took me a while to discover this. .mainly because he is such an awesome sales man.. he totally had me under his thumb..

When we were together, our relationship seemed to be ME focused, which I liked.. much..

but as time went on.. I started to realise.. that really .. it was very little about me.. except in the bedroom…  and ALL the rest was about him.. his business deals, his family, him , him,  him..

it’s funny how being infatuated makes us blind and stupid.. lol.. it does no?

we don’t see the flaws.. we only see the beautiful part of this person..

but eventually we clue in .. and it dies.. specially when we are older.. more mature, because we realise that there is no fixing this.. it’s the way it is..

The thing that never ceases to surprise me.. is how stupid men are.. when it comes to keeping women happy.. which usually equates to women wanting to fuck them… and how quick they are to blame us for a failed relationship..

but  ya.. vise versa no?.. we do the same..

I just know when something is dead.. it’s better not revived.. because it’s always on a ventilator.. with no chance of ever breathing on it’s own again.. (nursing analogy)

I think that my brain had shut him down.. just let him go.. and I initially listened to his calls, and felt sad..like I was betraying his love.. like I was letting him down..

and I had to stop listening..  but what I had not counted on.. was that those feelings were not gone.. but suppressed… this past weekend.. when in the company of my Slutinas.. all of the sudden I went into meltdown.. crying .. weeping.. just a sad soul..

and I could not begin to explain why..I mean.. It’s been three months.. and I have a new friend now.. ..

I think we are sometimes quick to dismiss our feelings.. probably as a protection mechanism.. and when we happen to be surrounded by love.. in a safe place..

our brain informs our heart that is ok to let those feelings out..

and ya.. I did just that..

and now.. it’s gone.. really gone.. and the phone calls have stopped..

thank-god.!! and I can move on.. and look forward to change..

change is good..

One response so far

Jan 14 2010

Just call me D.

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

So… I have been on CL again.. yep.. I know.. I know.. I said I would never do it again.. but I did..

can you deal?? it makes for fun stories.. it does .. lol

so… I put up an ad, asking for a play partner.. someone sexual, clean, nice smelling, respectful, smart.. hmmm

I know .. tall order.. hooooo and I said they needed to come WHEN I CALLED…

ya.. I want what I want.. when I want.. just the way it is.

So I started a conversations with this fellow Tall.. this is what he called himself..

now I know.. it’s because he is TALL.. 6′3.. that would be a whole foot taller than I.. on a good day.. lol

so we chatted online for about 2 weeks.. back and forth.. witty repartee. he seemed fun, interesting, articulate and I thought a good “possible”.. we both set out our boundaries.. and seemed to have a similar want..

but really .. I had no idea.. what he was reading into my words.. the world of email.. is full of misconceptions and misunderstandings.. as I found out today…

Today.. we meet..cara a cara…

it was coffee.. at 1pm…

I asked a friend to be my wing man.. in case I needed to get the hell out of there pronto..

“text me 3 times at 2pm.. then I will have an out.. if I need it” I requested..

I mean.. these people may appear nice on paper.. but when you meet them up front.. it can quickly be another story all together.. trust me on that..

feeling safe.. secure and protected.. I headed out..

So… I walked into the coffee shop and spotted him right away.. sexy as all hell.. my heart started to beat fast..

he sat on a leather couch.. salt and pepper short hair.. gorgeous teeth.. big chin dimple..

he wore a simple gray sweater.. with a soft leather jacket .. a long jacket..

and he had Italian shoes on.. niceeee.. I love a man who dresses well.. it’s so lovely to me..

when I approached..

he smiled.. this huge smile.. hmmm he obviously was enjoying what he was seeing too..

good start…

he reached out for my hand.. and kissed it..

that I like..

I sat down.. he asked if I wanted a coffee. .. I said sure.. “let’s get them to go.. and we can walk and talk??”

“perfect” .. he said..

his eye contact was steady.. his eyes on mine..

hmmm .. interesting .. but too much?? should have been my first clue..

so.. we walked along the train tracks to the water..

somewhere along the way he took my hand.. “your nice and warm” he said..

“peri-menapausal.. always warm” I said.. because I’m such a classy girl.. lol..

I swear .. the things that come out of my mouth sometimes..fuck me… lol.. don’t ask..

so as we walk.. I ask..

“and so.. how do you see things evolving between us.. were do you want to go.. ”

and he clears his throat .. looks at me in the eyes and says…

“you don’t waste any time.. ” I smile.. he smiles..

and then.. he says.. looking straight into my eyes.. with a demanding stare..

almost making me look away..

“well.. i see you .. doing what ever I want you to do .. in order to pleasure me.. and if you are a good girl.. I will give you a reward.. ”

I must have opened my eyes like saucers.. because he stopped walking and just stared at me smirking at him..

in my head.. I’m thinking.. “PARdon??? what ?? WTF… ”

then he goes on….
“as my slave…… ” and I stop him… what??? slave.. pardon..but what comes out of my mouth is a little whimper.. which he thinks is pleasure.. so he hugs me..

and fuck it all to hell. .he hugs good.. really good.. fuck me!

then he kisses me.. and fuck it all to hell.. he kisses good.. and he smells Divine..

fuck me!

BUT!!!! in my ad, I must remember my ad.. I asked for a Man’s Man.. but not a Master… not in the full on sense of the world..

I want to be taken.. to be man handled.. to be thrown on the bed.. and flipped and grabbed and pulled..

but fuck NO …. I don’t want to be a slave to any one..not outside of that play.. NO FUCKING WAY!!

submissive… to a point.. but NEVER.. a slave..

ok.. ? ok!

I follow this porn site.. called.. sexandsubmission.com.. (very cool.. but repetitive.. but cool.. and hot.. and sexy. )

and it appeals to me.. the strong male… taking charge.. barking out orders.. using your body as a toy.. but

at the same time.. giving you intense pleasure.. I mean.. these women are getting fucked…. and flogged and spanked and they love it.. you can tell.. and they tell you about it after the shoot.. (I like that the best.. when they talk about what happened and how they felt. and what their favorite part was.. and you can tell… they are being honest.. their facial expressions speak for them..hmm and probably the hand full of bills in their pocket.. but fuck.. imagine working at something you love.. lol :)

AND what I see there. in my porn… that..was not present with this fellow today..

so maybe reality it is not.. but it is what I want.. lol

you see.. to me.. when they are doing the after show. discussion . these women.. these submissive women.. they are now back to being an equal to their tormentor.. he is hugging them and gushing over their experience.. it’s back to equal ground..

and what I think that this man today.. D… appears to seek.. is a slave.. a true slave that will be a slave 24/7.. this is not a game to him.. but a way of life.. and in his face.. you could see that..

and you know what.. I tend to follow my gut .. and what I saw..when I looked deep into his blue eyes.. was an abusive.. brute.. who had no desire to find out what I wanted.. what I craved…he did not ask.. enquire or question.. he just talked about what I was to do for him.. while he petted my head.. and rubbed my ass.. (that part I liked.. prrrrrr)

it was all about him…

scary I thought.. and a little hmmm egotistical..

so.. after our kiss.. I pretended I heard my phone go off.. and I walked away from him to go and check NOTHING.. because my wing man forgot to text me (bad.. bad wing man)

and I made an excuse to leave..

and here is the clencher.. as we were saying adios.. holding hands.. I detached my hand from his.. and he looked at me with a stern angry look .. and said..

“you never walk away without kissing me goodbye!!” he barked.. and AND
he pulled my hair..

That sealed it.. I sooo wanted to kick his ass.. but I was in shock.. and I just looked at him.. eye brows raised… and walked away.. just walked away.. he stood there watching me.. I could feel his eyes on me.. it freaked me right out.. fuck me!

on the drive home.. I processed what had happened.. and stopped on the side of the road to talk into my voice recorder..

and then I got back to the office .. and I wrote to him.. telling him what I had felt.. how he had somehow scared me (and turned me on at the same time..but this I kept to myself ) and how I did not wish to play his game.. and I thanked him .. for meeting me.. and said .. so long..

Then.. I got an email back.. him saying sorry.. for being too full on for me..

but it was too late..

for me..

the moment had passed and he did not make the cut..

picky bitch that I am.. I am..

how did you spend your afternoon.. hmmmm??

One response so far

Jan 12 2010

focusing on what is in front of you.. sort of…

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

I have a wondering eye, something that is often attributed to men,  but I can tell you with certainty.. that I have it.

I can’t seem to settle into any relationship, without wondering.. what  else  is out there.. who else  .. were  else.

sometimes it’s fun.. and sometimes it drives me a bit batty.

This past few weeks,  I have started to date a lovely man.. he is lovely..

my age.. (for a change) gorgeous… fully dedicated to me.. (ya. .. he is definitely into me) and some how.. this  appears to be the problem..

he is becoming needy.. needy of my time, of my attention..

hmmm like looking in a mirror.. .. interesting how we seek those who are most like us.. even if we don’t realise it..

But you know me… I  still find myself seeking more.. posting on casual dating sites, requesting visits from old lovers.. looking at strangers like lunch.. you know it.. you have felt it.. .. I know .. I know it’s not just me.. I talk to many women.. and men..

my friends think that maybe I am  foolish to expect that this soon?  hmm maybe..and maybe not..

I believe in that instant connection between people.. it’s there right away or it’s not.. it’s not something you can grow into .. I don’t  think….

when you meet someone for the first time.. it tingles.. or it does not.. simple..

it’s fucking hot or fucking not.

So with him.. it is there.. the heat.. but it’s not as hot as I would like it..

it’s not .. “I want to rip your clothes off and feel all your skin ” hot..

it’s .. hmmm..” ok.. let’s fuck”.. hot…

So again.. I find myself feeling that ever present hunger.. … but I kind of like it… that feeling of want.. it’s .. strange .. I know.. but it’s me.. I’m a bit of a freak..

So.. on this subject..

Had a very interesting talk with Silkenvoice.. of  Silkenvoice.com  about this attention seeking behavior.. because I know that it’s all about that.. about the attention being focused on me.. I seek, I crave it , I demand it

So in conversation with silken..

she attributed it to.. .. this type of  attention seeking sexual acting out.. (which I think it’s what I do.. if I’m not satisfied in a relationship.. rather than giving it a chance by working on it.. I just fuck it up.. . part fear of intimacy? maybe.. but mostly seeking acceptance.. I think.. )

so.. we talked.. and SHE  told me.. lol ….(I sound good.. when I repeat what other intelligent people have shared with me.. but trust me.. I’m not that bright.. )

that the roots of this need.. could be  attributed to not getting enough attention as a child.. and now.. it’s coming home to roost..

an interesting thought ..

although we say.. we are now adults and should be able to put childhood shit aside.. because we are adults…

but  as she spoke.. I saw myself….in her words.. . and I understood..isn’t  it cool when that happens?

I mean.. somewhere in the deep of my brain function.. I’m sure this is etched as fact.. but .. to hear it.. spoken with intelligence.. in a non threatening or accusing manner.. it goes in and stays in to be processed..

love having intelligent friends.. :)  specially those who take the time to listen..

and read…  (thanks)

Silken and I,  we both come from large families, both the first born.

Our stories of childhood are different but yet the same.. we both had parents that were preoccupied with being parents.. and being.. and they somehow dropped the ball with us..not in a bad parenting way…. simply in a being overwhelmed or too busy way…

it’s just the way it is.. I get it… I understand it.. I accept it..

and this conversation ..  took me back to being a kid.. how I so desperately wanted “positive” attention…. and when it was not given….really .. because my parents were simply trouble shooting .. it’s all they had time for.. so..

it was bad behavior that got attention.. because it needed to be addressed.. everything alse could wait.. know what I mean?

So..  I found it very easy to get attention for being bad.

and here I am.. at 46.. still seeking the same .. by doing the same..

lol.. kinda funny…. probably not as simplistic as all that.. but I would say damn close.

I was always in trouble as a teenager.. specially after the sports stopped.. I remember almost taunting my parents into freaking out at me.. and now I see… clearly… that it was because I wanted to be noticed to be the “top kid” the one getting the most of the  attention..

interesting stuff.. Dr. Silkenvoice.. lol.. check’s in the mail..

Anyway.. this all got me thinking about were it is that I’m headed in this wold of seeking love and romance and sexual attention…

it got me thinking that I’m lost and confused,..

still .. lol

definitely.. I know, that.. like U2 sings..

I still haven’t found what I’m looking for..

but I’m starting to wonder if that which I seek, crave, want.. even exists??

probably in 4 or 5 different men.. yes.. but in one?? probably not..

which again points out that monogamy is not for me..

but yet.. I crave some aspects of it.. for sure..

confused? I am .. yikes!

And here  is the main issue I have with this new man in my life..

I kind of thought.. hmmm younger.. ok…

this will mean more open.. different than the last.. in that our life stages were very similar..

but no.. it’s not that at all..

It’s almost like I’m in a life stage of my own design.. and no one..

fits in there very well..

so I find that I’m playing cautious.. and I’m not really sure why.. but you  know

you get a sense that people are just not ready for you yet.. lol

so.. I decided to venture there.. just a little..

in conversation … I brought up a little bit of the .. dirty bits.. the things I enjoy..

the porn.. I slipped in that I enjoyed the visual aspect of it.. and that it turned me on..

and I had to stop..

because in his face I did not see

“fucking heyyyyyyyy!!!!”   which it what I was hoping for..

but rather..  .. “hmmm really?”

and that my friends… at 46.. is a deal breaker..hmm probably at 36 too..

but I now know.. in depth .. what will keep me interested.. and that is NOT it.

so   ya.. I see myself running..

away from him…

surprise, surprise..

3 responses so far

Jan 04 2010

Sometimes you feel like a lamb…….

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

The plan to go out, was born around 1pm saturday afternoon.  It was a child of Facebook, it was one of my oldest friends, who I have not seen in 10 years or so… and one of my old but around friends , Gigi.. who I don’t see often, but do talk to regularly.  The group that came together on FB, was two teams of 5 or 6 girls each.. two opposing teams..

something I did not clue into, until the team that arrived second.. sat on the opposite end of the bar.  We are latin american.. there is always going to be drama.. it’s expected.

These  women I  befriended  years ago,when we were still girls, most of them are still there.. in our 20’s..  but I have changed.

Isnt’ it funny how the years can really affect some people into profound change.. but for others, it’s still like they

were frozen in time, 20 years later, still acting the same.. it’s a puzzle for me.. how do you get away with that? hmm not sure….

I was late..( imagine that) … but these are my old friends.. so they know..and they plan accordingly..

my girlfriend Gigi.. waited for me at this funky Spanish bar on the  East side of town.. sipping mojitos and chatting up the old guys.. she is very good at that.  Gigi is one of the most funky women I know.. at 45… she looks 50.. lol

skin aged from years of body abuse.. but there is a twinkle in her green eyes, that totally charms you and hypnotizes you into seeing  her as if  she is still  20 years old…… it’s incredible what she does.. mass hallucination lol.. she has always been an  enchanting beauty,  and the boys.. young and old gravitate to her.. always have, always will..

So I got there.. a seedy bar.. well. not seedy.. but sort of.. ?  and I  parked the car, and I looked thru the parking lot.. making sure I was safe to get out.. so .. ya.. kind of a sketchy area of town.. lol..

but then..I  saw me..as I was… all those years ago..

me at 25 …..

standing beside this old Camaro.. gorgeous dark  green, fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view window…

I  was standing there.. waiting…

I wore white knee high boots.. and a mini that was juuuust covering my  assetssssss…

this young girl , standing out there.. was me.. 20 years ago.. young and gorgeous and fearless… driving my dad’s car.. pretending it was mine… lol.. I remember..

it’s funny how fashion makes full circles… those white boots.. had them until last year .. the short skirt..hmm it was thrown out by my mother… “only prostitutes wear skirts that short”… she had a point… looking at this lovely girl .. I can see , she had a point.. lol..

so.. I sat in my car for a while..

rolling a joint, and contemplating smoking it before I went it…. then decided against it.. (next time ..I will smoke it before.. so I don’t miss calls.. )

so I just sat and watched her..

she smoked a  cigarette.. and looked at her watch… she was scared?? nervous anyway..

I sat for maybe 5 more  minutes watching her.. then I got a text.. “were are you?”… and I left my car…

as I left her behind , in the almost empty parking lot.. I worried about her.. .. don’t ask me why.. but I did, I think

remember the heaps of trouble that I got into, when I was her.. and I felt sad for her.. just a little.

As I walked in to the bar.. the doorman .. gave me a smile.. with his eyes.. I smiled back.. this was going to be a good night.

…..my girlfriend jumped out the door to greet me..

my god.. she looked….. OLD… lol.. ..lI know.. I know.. but it’s you.. I’m telling.. you..

.. so I can tell you anything right?

we have all aged.. but it’s not until you see someone in your age group..that you have not seen in a while.. that it dons on you.. fuck.. I’m getting old….. lol

I went inside and said hello to the rest of the gang.. then.. I  grabbed a vodka/soda… my drink of choice when I want to look like I”m drinking. .. but I’m not really drinking.. lol. that way people don’t razz you.. I hate that.. so I keep filling it with soda.. as the night goes along..and nobody questions or pushes alcohol on me.. which.. I’m grateful for, I have vices for sure.. but they are sex and pot..in that order..

ya..I would much prefer to be a little high.. and able to drive later.. than being totally washed out hangover the next day..

another sign of aging.. or is that simply maturity?? hmmmmhm

So.. on this night.. you know what the biggest thing was.. all the men that asked me to dance..  and generally hit on me.. it  must have been the moon.. because baby. I was on…

the funny part.. is that  I could not enjoy the glory..it bothered me.. all the attention.. I knew what it was they were after. … and last night… it just was not my scene.. but it was delightful.. I won’t lie.. just different..

at one point, I headed outside to smoke my joint.. and this young man followed me.. cute as a button.. smelling of something so delicious that  I stood close to him, just to smell him… as we shared the joint… he started to hit on me..

“you are so beautiful, why are you here alone?”..” I’m not” I said… going into defense mode…. “a friend is coming to join me….he will be here soon”… he smiles…like.. saying… “yeah.. righttttt”…

and he kept at it.. “what if I gave you my number, can we go out tomorrow?”…

“that is very nice of you to ask.. ” I said.. feeling my face starting to react to the pot… permagrin coming on…

“but do you know how old I am?”  I asked..

“who cares , do you care?”….kids got a point…

“I’m 46, you are twenty.. hmmm can you see a problem with that?”  I laughed at him.. not at him.. but you know.. laughed.. and he was not amused..

it was time to pretend a trip to the bathroom was needed immediately… so I headed inside and grabbed my purse..

I noticed it was blinking , my phone..so I sat and looked and answered the text..  and I notice that this  young man.. comes to sit beside me.. big smile on his face..

I keep on doing what I’m doing.. and he interrupts

“you like to text alot.. I thought you had to pee?”.. I laugh at him.. and keep on texting… hoping that he will just go away.. but he does not..and now,  I’m fully under the spell of the organics.. and my smile.. although not meant for him

but for my text  friend.. gets interpreted as  go ahead of sorts….

until I get up and walk away.. leaving him to smile alone….

As I walk the room.. headed to my second group of friends… sitting on the other side of the bar.. I see smiles all around.. and I swear  it’s not the organics.. they are all smiling at me.. the room that was filled with cougars not 20 minutes ago.. is now saturated in young, cute boys.. hmmm and a few trolls.. but mostly cute boys.. and they are all happy to see me..  the charm of this scene last about hmmm 4 minutes.. then I remember a friend of mine making an analogy about a lamb.. a little lamb plucked from her  friend lams.. left alone to be devoured.. lol.. and I get uncomfortable.. and I want to go home.. just like that. the spell is broken and I want to go home.. but I”m too stoned to drive.. it’s going going to be at least an hr, before I can go anywhere.. so ..I dance.. and dance and dance.. and just like that, it’s 2am… my organic buzz has gone.. the  3 drinks I had early in the night are gone.. . and I can drive.. but now.. no one ales can.. lol.. and I end up driving people all over town..

finally I get home at 4am.. wired for sound.. . body exhausted but brain processing all that happened ..

in my pocket 3 phone numbers.. the most I have ever collected one night.. not bad for an old lady..  and . I put them in the garbage one by one..

giving each a little thank-you .. for the lovely imagery that they bring..

but the lamb.. me.. is safe  and home.. and happy to be alone in my own bed..

well. not alone.. my toys are here..  and that imagery… hmmm it worked wonders.. :)

No responses yet

Dec 29 2009

Inbox

Published by shewhowill under The Women Speak

Wowza!!  I looked in my inbox today.. first time since the holidays…

amazing!

thanks for your comments.. I’m really honored that you are reading.. I think I write dribble.. so I’m incredibly delighted that you like what your reading..

It’s been a super busy time, and I will be posting something soon.. something more in gear with this site.. so .. yes.. something sexy.. :)

Look in your IN  Boxes for replies!!!

Thanks so much.

SWW

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